


The First Face This Face Saw

by dragonwings948



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: (sort of), Coffee, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Mind Palace, Regeneration, Serial: s115 Logopolis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 02:12:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19141507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonwings948/pseuds/dragonwings948
Summary: Before the Doctor regenerates, in a suspended moment in time, he has a chat with an old friend.





	The First Face This Face Saw

            “But why me, Doctor?”

            He didn’t ignore her question exactly, but he took his time getting around to it. Instead, he breathed in the smell of coffee, cherished the sensation of the mug warming his fingers, and appreciated the aesthetic of the little shop.

            He would never smell, feel, or see things the same way again.

            “Doctor!” Sarah insisted from across the table. “Why did you choose me?”

            “Hm?” He finally decided to take some effort to consider her question, but was distracted this time by the thought of just how much he had missed that frown, those crossed arms, that sceptical look.

            “Because you were the first, naturally,” he replied eventually.

            He knew the expression that followed his statement. She didn’t want to humour him, but she knew she had to. “The first?”

            “The first face this face saw.” Before she reacted to the statement the Doctor took a tentative sip of his coffee. “This really is quite good you know. You should try some. If only Romana were here,” he added, muttering to himself, “I could finally get her to taste some good Earth coffee.”

            “She could be here.” Sarah’s features softened. Her fingertips lightly drummed on the table. “But instead, _for some reason,_ it’s me.”

            The Doctor frowned at her. “There’s no need to say it again; we both know you’re here and I already answered your question.”

            “You met so many people after you left me,” Sarah Jane continued, as if she hadn’t even heard him. _Typical journalist,_ the Doctor thought, _only hearing what they want to._ “But now, when it’s all over, you come back to me.”

            The Doctor felt his face twitch with emotion. He hated that, twitching. No control over it, but it told everyone exactly what you were feeling.

            “Is it because you feel guilty?” Though it was a loaded question, Sarah asked it nonchalantly as she stirred her still untouched coffee.

            The Doctor hummed. “Ah, that word.” He didn’t meet her eyes.

            Sarah crossed her arms again, looking quite pleased with herself, as she spoke matter-of-factly. “You left me, just dumped me out of your TARDIS, and never came back.” Her voice grew a touch softer. “You always meant to come back, I know that. But now it’s too late.” She looked up and matched his gaze. “I suppose that’s why, isn’t it?”

            “Yes.” He beamed at her. “You’ve figured it out all on your own. I knew you could do it.”

            “Don’t worry, Doctor.” After all this time she finally smiled, and the Doctor realised that he had missed that more than anything. “I’ve got my own life to live, and it’s going to be brilliant!”

            The Doctor laughed. “It will, Sarah. I know it will. And I think that maybe, just maybe…we’ll see each other again.”

            Sarah’s mood seemed to sober again as she glanced at the Doctor’s mug, which had somehow been drained empty while they had talked. Her eyes shone with compassion as she looked at him again. “Are you ready?”

            The Doctor swirled the last drops of liquid around in the mug. He knew he could get a refill—it was _his_ own mind, anyway—but he would only be prolonging the inevitable.

            “Is anyone ever ready?” he wondered, more to himself than to Sarah.

            Sarah reached for his hand and squeezed it. “Don’t forget me.”

            He smiled sadly, maybe his last smile with this face. “I’ll never forget you, Sarah Jane Smith.” The smile faded and he saw all of his countless adventures flash before him. “I’ll never forget any of it.” He closed his eyes…

            …and opened them onto the worried gazes of Adric, Tegan, and Nyssa.

            The Doctor took a deep, painful breath.

            “It’s the end; but the moment has been prepared for…”

            His eyelids drifted closed, but the Sarah Jane of his imagination was gone.

            _I won’t forget,_ he told himself as he felt consciousness slipping away. _I promise._


End file.
